December 28, 2011
This word rarely makes it into my vocabulary. But this past week, it has actually been a part of my daily routine! And believe me, I’ve needed it!
Ever since my husband Peter said the word, “Cancer” for the first time fours years ago, it feels like my life has been one non-stop stream of constant activity, commitments, demands, etc. Life has been in constant motion at a very high level. First 2 years of cancer, and then the last 2 years of becoming a widow, a single parent, running a full time business and raising teenagers that have very busy schedules and activities.
This Christmas season is the first in a very long time, where I have been able to just sort of do nothing. Rest, relax, take a trip to the mall, read and watch lots of TV. It feels vital for me to do this… I don’t think I can go into a brand New Year with all of the hopes and goals I have for the future, without some rest beforehand. Rest for my body, my mind, and my heart and soul. Necessary and vital rest that I do not often allow myself.
So I have taken a break. No blogged ( except for now ha ha) no photo shoots, no editing, not much house cleaning – yay! Not even much cooking… just rest. I’m sure all the time on the couch and Christmas goodies eaten has yielded me at least 5 lbs. To be honest, even that makes me happy. What’s a few pounds when January is around the corner right?
My family is doing well overall. My kids, seem strong and healthy. From what I can see, they continue to heal. Continue to laugh, hang out with their friends, and seem to believe that life is still good.
I always say, I’ve never done this before, so I think they are doing ok. I’ve never raised kids who lost their father to cancer. I’ve never been a single parent. But from what I can see, my kids are dealing with it extremely well. I am beyond proud of each of them. I rarely ever brag about my kids…. but I’m going to indulge, just for a moment.
Colin is extremely involved in music and band. His marching band took first in the state of Arizona for the 2nd year in a row.
Alissa is very involved in sports. She plays on a BOYS club soccer team. She made this years volleyball team at school, and just recently made the varsity soccer team as a 6th grader.
Julia took up a whole new activity, Dance, and has accomplished the splits and a from axle without hands. She can also play guitar better than her mom.
They are doing well… and I am beyond grateful.
I see our family like a dinner table with 4 legs…. we lost one of the legs, so we’re a bit crooked. A little lopsided, but the table is still standing. It still works. Not as well as if there were four, but well enough to continue to function and have purpose. A weird analogy, but one that helps my brain know we are ok.
We laugh, have their friends over a ton, we argue ( I do have teenagers) we cry, we live. As best we can. We have faith in God… still. Which is my greatest hope for my children. That they continue to live and love. To believe that life is good and that God is good too. That He can be trusted, even in loss and pain. That is not an easy lesson for adults, let alone children. And I can’t say that we are always there. But that is always my prayer for my kids.
So… this time of rest is good. Really good! I think it’s helping me to recharge. To continue to heal too….
So between now and the New Year, I honestly have no idea how much I’ll post, if anything. But please continue to check back with me. I’m excited about the New Year and will be ready to go
after a little more rest!
I hope you all had an amazing Christmas Season! Wishing you the best!!