April 20, 2012
Ever since I can remember,I’ve always wanted and hoped for a full life! I’m the type of person that has always tried to live life to the fullest.
Well, what’s funny is that I can certainly say that life has become quite “full” for me.
There are times I’ve laughed so hard that I could cry – and times I’ve cried so hard I could laugh…
I know what it’s like to SOAR and I know what it’s like to suffer.
I understand joy AND sorrow. I know peace and I know pain. I’ve danced with happiness and I’ve embraced the arms of sadness.
I live in the moment so much more than I ever, knowing that’s it’s all we truly have… and understanding that at any moment, as my dear friend Jordan Lawhead best puts it, “Lightning strikes, before the Thunder Roars.”
You could say that my cup does runneth over. Not in way I’d have ever imagined or expected, but it’s certainly FULL none the less.
I love what has been of course… but even more so, I still love what IS, me, my children and life, AND what WILL BE. I LOVE life – and yet, I know there’s more. I’m not SO in love, that I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye… and hello!
I’m not bitter or angry. Those emotions have always sort of been tapered by something a little bigger… something I am deeply deeply grateful for. It has been the anchor of how I’ve gotten through any of this. Those emotions have always been a little short circuited by trust.
I don’t know why… it’s certainly ok for me to feel those things, but trust has always trumped pain, or anger or bitterness. It just has for me… I can’t explain it.
Trust is what has kept me from feeling like a victim. It has kept me planted and steady.
Sometimes I’ve wondered, am I in denial? Maybe… I guess life will play out and I’ll know. But for now, the truth of my life is that I have known and walked with Jesus for over 25 years and I know Him enough to trust Him. I trust Him. In the good and the bad. In the peek and the valley. His hand is the one I squeeze when I need to get through. I just trust that there is a plan in all of this.
And how I respond… is what matters. How I live before my children, in response to the loss of their father matters. How I walk this out… my be my biggest test this life has for me.
You know – NO one was watching Job when things were good – but when things were bad, he had an audience. It really sort of became his moment… Both God and the devil himself were watching. How would he handle tragedy?
Maybe that’s the WHY we plague ourselves with asking. That haunting age-old question that every human being struggles with. WHY?
For Job there was NO logical reason that he lost his family – except that his life became a stage to witness one thing… How would he respond.
Somehow, God earned my trust early on and He’s never lost it. I’m grateful that it hasn’t wavered… that alone is His grace to me.
My deepest truth is that I know Him and I trust Him.
My life IS full – it feels great and in a moment it can hurt. It’s colorful and then sometimes very black and white. It’s crazy CRAZY hard – and then some days it’s like gliding on top of an ocean of glass with the sun and wind behind my sail.
Fullness of life…. is how I see it. My glass is never half full or half empty.
It’s just full!
Today I’d like to honor my late husband Peter Pakulis. 21 years ago, I said “I DO” What a beautiful day and beginning that was.
21 years later, I am here with 3 AMAZING children who mean the world to me. They have a legacy of their Father’s character tucked deeply in their hearts. They watched a courageous man walk out his final days with not one word of a complaint or “whoa is me” attitude. They watched a Man who loved God – go to be with his Maker.
They know they will see him again… someday.
Their lives are FULL too – and I can only trust, that it is part of their plan. That’s the hardest part for me. But I trust that it will make them into who they are supposed to be in this life…
it’s all I can do.
Today I have fullness of life… not as I’d have imagined it, but fullness never the less.
March 14, 2012
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry! I probably have NO followers anymore. I guess I can’t blame you. I’ve been COMPLETELY MIA
Well, I have a new blog design in the works and I guess I’ve been waiting for it to be done.
SO PLEASE CHECK BACK –
Posts coming soon…..
PROMISE!
February 17, 2012
Favorite Moment of the week: Watching a boy show up on our doorstep on Valentines day. He asked for my daughter Julia. She came outside to say hello. He gets down on one knee, and with a rose in his hand, asks her if she would be his Valentine!! It was so precious!
Favorite Treat: Getting gifts from my kids on Valentines day!
Favorite To-Do checked off my list this week: Finishing up my Senior Model Call Info Packet for 2013 Seniors!
Favorite Inspirational moment – Seeing Adele win at the Grammy’s! Well Deserved!
Favorite Tweet of the week: Not Tweet – But Tweeter! Whoever does not follow Will Smith – you need to start. I LOVE all of his tweets! Words of wisdom that are real and practical, not corny either. So My favorite Tweeter of the week by far is Will Smith!
Favorite Surprise: Realizing that WALKING DEAD season 2 – part 2 started last Sunday night. So I watched it at my friend Tammara’s house! GREAT NIGHT!!
Not So Favorite Moment – Leaving my SB900 on a stand at a photo shoot. Noticed it was missing at the end of the shoot – RAN back to the scene and it was still there! WHEW! Thank you Lord!
Favorite Song I’ve listened to all week: I have not moved on. I’ve been listening to Jordan Lawhead’s ” Born to Love You” for the past 3 weeks straight!Still not tired of the amazing love song! Link: Jordan Lawhead.com
Favorite photo of the week: There are several. I recently blogged my friends Meagan and Jordan Lawhead’s wedding photos. Well, My friend Melissa Jill – who is an amazing wedding photographer, told me that I should also blog their engagement photos. Got some wonderful compliments from her XOXO! I had only posted their video. So when MJ says I should blog something… I’m going to listen and take her advice. She’s one of the best in the business…
So for favorite photo this week, I’m sharing my favorites from my engagement session with Meagan and Jordan!
Enjoy and Happy Friday!
February 10, 2012
Really… I let a whole week go by without blogging after I promised to be a better blogger in 2012…. Ugh! What can I say? I sort of feel like I got caught in a wind tunnel.
I started working on a project for my High School Seniors. Four intense days later, I was finally, mostly, done! Wow – didn’t see that coming. So my blogging went down the tubes! Shame on me.
But I KNOW you all survived right?
Well – here’s a peek at what I was working on. I worked on a project for my Seniors. A 16 page SENIOR Magazine Brochure/Guide to Senior photos with Pati Pakulis Photography. It covers everything a Senior needs to know to have an AMAZING Senior Portrait Experience with my company! 16 pages….. yep, was in a cave for day!
I am NOT a graphic designer – so I actually used a template, but EVEN THAT took SOOOO long! But I am happy with the results! Here’s a Peek at my COVER PAGE:
Anyway — so… ON TO FRIDAY FAVORITES. I can at least be consistent and stick to this right? Here we go:
Favorite moment of the week: Time with God reading “The Story” LOVE LOVE This!
Favorite To-Do checked off my list this week: COMPLETING A 16 PAGE GUIDE FOR MY HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS! yeah baby!
Favorite Tweet of the week: From Billy Hawn – drummer extraordinaire – “Dear Madonna, 1989 called, it’s time to go. Thanks for stopping by!” This made an entire room of people laugh during the Superbowl. Thanks Billy! Check out his website: Billy Hawn
Favorite Blog Post of the week: Not time to check up on any blogs out there!
Favorite Surprise: Getting a phone call from Joesph..a childhood friend. Had So much fun catching up!
Not So Favorite Moment – Getting up at 2 am to pick up my daughter and her friends from the MIDNIGHT SHOWING of “The Vow” I’m such a sucker!
Least Favorite moment: Meeting with my roof guy and him telling me how much it’s going to cost to replace my roof. GASP! Unfortunately, It needs it. 
Favorite Song I’ve listened to all week: Still Jordan Lawhead’s, ” Born to Love You” I’ve been so mesmerized! I was able to shoot his wedding to Meagan Johnson, and I can’t stop playing this song! Link: Jordan Lawhead.com
Favorite photo of the week: My JUJU A random photo she wanted me to take before school one day this week:
February 3, 2012
Favorite moment of the week – I have two: Watching Colin play drums in church and thinking of how proud his dad must be!
AND
Listening to my girls working on the vocals for a He is We Song called ” His Name”
Favorite indulgence – Shopping on Thursday at Nordstrom Rack. I’m not a big shopper at all, but I actually enjoyed it and found some cute things that I am in desperate need of. I so need to update my wardrobe this year!
Favorite To-Do checked off my list this week: Exercise! yay – a ran a few days this week.
Favorite TV show of the week – Final episode of Breaking Bad season 4 – yipes!
Favorite Facebook Post of the week: My 14 daughter Julia: “I wish my emotions had a forecast channel, like the weather. Then, I could forewarn everyone on whether or not they should bother talking to me that day.”
Favorite Blog Post of the week: “Pretty Packaging Ideas from “The Savvy Photographer”
Not So Favorite Moment – but Hilarious: My lollipop stick getting stuck to my booty – and me taking a photo of someone while it was there! Yep!! That was me. Oh Boy
Least Favorite moment: Getting two letters in the mail. One from the IRS – the Other from the Department of Homeland Security on the same day. Oh Boy! Everything’s fine – but that was a moment!
You can read more about it on my facebook.
Favorite Song I’ve listened to all week: Born to Love You by Jordan Lawhead
Favorite photo of the week:
This was taken awhile ago.. it just made me think of how Love Always leaves a footprint! SO… Leave LOTS of footprints!
Love is always worth it. Besides… It’s February – the month for LOVE!!!
And LOVE while you are able… because life is unpredictable… believe me
so love while you able!!
Happy Friday!!
(more…)
I love your heart, Pati! And I love you!
Oooh gf! Wow… Life to fullest INDEED!
<3 <3